Tigz

one more boba today :)

so today was funny - two objectives - stalking and shopping - for more details, ask me :) it's a secret operative, so i can't disclose any details :)

besides my mission - i interviewed Gift of Gab from Blackalicious who felt it was socially conscious hip hopper's duty to vote. interestin :)

one a bad note tho - had a scary fallout with a friend, well, maybe fallout is too harsh. but, you see i have frenemies in my life (a sex in the city term meaning friends u love but don't nec like b/c they're mean and put you down) anywayz, she called me out and was not very nice about it. it hurt me a lot, b/c i then realized i had opened more of my life's doors to her than she had, and she only considered me a sort of work aquaintance - while i was trying to be true - which made me wonder why i had these frenemies in my life - if i was easy to push over and take advantage of.

but, i think i really need to do some editing in my own life - trimming out those who make me feel bad and keeping close only those who really love me back.

so i'm sitting in this room watching HALO - for those who don't know what that is -you're missing out on some good ole fraggin'. for the guyz that are playing - they insist, it's not a game - it's an addiction, or better yet, a girlfriend.

anywayz, lately, i've been super burnt out and kinda been running on like slo mo, b/c my brain is super fried. so i tried chocolate, coldstones, popcorn and boba - LOTS and LOTS of boba - still burnt out. i guess binging on comfort food isn't helping - i think i seriously need a vacation - egypt, hawaii, europe are my top choices at this point.

so today i went to work kinda tired b/c i've been having the same insane dream over and over again. i think my subconscious hates me - i've been dreaming that i'm working and i can't complete my story - so by the time i wake up, i'm all confused and tired. it's like when i was taking CS to humor my dad and i started dreaming in code - it doesn't get geekier than that.

so for my bro's bday i took him to HELLBOY - ok, the name is lame - like that one LXG - but it was SUPER good - not like on the deep level of Eternal Sunshine, but good in the blow everything up and save the world kinda good. and the script was good in one word liners. like - what did you say to me? i said HEY.

u see we were trying to surprise my bro - but his best friend ruined it a lil by calling him to ask where he was - so we tried to play it off, then i tried to lure my bro into d&B's by saying i had to redeem some tix - he was suspicious, but hungry - u see a hungry liu doens't ask many questions - so in the end, we surprised him. YAY!

watched this incredible movie today - eternal sunshine - with jim carey - the premise is a couple who erase all their memories about each other, but end up together anywayz - there's always memories one wishes to erase, but i wonder if destiny trumps that.

on a funnier note, i must be bait for youngin's - the other day i was at a career day, attempting to inspire youth - except one told me i was pretty sweet looking - and another day some jr highers barked at me - and at the club, this under 21 kid hit on me. kinda funny huh?

anywayz, i ended the day with some yoga to calm my senses :) nothing like contorting to decrease stress!

i wish i had a longer break - had a day off :) - and i went to the beach, clubbing, shopping and museum hopping :)

now i'm trying to get into the groove of workin' again. i've been in a sort of funk lately, and i'm thinking a good dose of disneyland or hawaii will do the trick.

you see, not only has a good friend gone off and married, but another one is pregnant - that makes two friends that are going to be mommies - but on the other side of the spectrum, some other friends have gone single - life is confusing.

when i was in high school, I wished God could shine a light, and then show me - who i was supposed to marry and what i was supposed to do for a job

been stressed out lately b/c of work - i think i work myself up to easily - i mean in 5th grade, peeps nicknamed me "worrywart"

so....drumroll .... i've decided

1. i need a vacation - i just bought a bikini and now i need somewhere for it
2. i need to stop settling - i'm gonna aim high from now on. maybe i will be an editor someday and maybe that someday will be earlier than like say 50.
3. i need to stop waiting for others to affirm me - i don't need to please others, that's not why i'm working

so enuf of the weird snl daily affirmations in the mirror :0) time for some boba :)

i feel like my life is out of focus

and today questioned my very being - the pastor asked

- Why are you here?
- Why are you doing what you are doing?
- Why are you in Fremont?

instead of having God as my center and everything else around it - I've had me in the center - and been stuffing God on the side. no good

Twas a good day :)

+ was sitting drinking boba with my mom today - and looked at the guy sitting next to us - he was reading my story in the paper!! made my day :)

+ interviewed michelle branch in person today :) she was very sweet, very spunky - and a cancer like me :) plus she has many tats - two on her wrists - saying left and right :)

+ bought a really cool red and black leather cuff

+ michelle's concert was awesome :) she can really croon :)

weekend was crazy - was a bridesmaid in the closest friend's wedding i've ever been...beautiful wedding in tahoe. they made me catch the bouquet, but i avoided it like the plague.

made me wonder where i am in life, what i'm ready for, what i want. my conclusion: i'm just confused.

saw britney last nite - its was awfully lonely going by myself, i hate the new policy of only taking one tix - saw it with strangers = she was ok, very racy.

interviewed sarah brightman today - she admitted, she doesn't like musicals!

going to take some much needed sleep now :)

What a crazy week! Here's a quick rundown of my rollercoaster week

+ interviewed Twista - he was so sweet, very knowledgeable, did this super fast rap for me, and ended by calling me babygirl :)

+ attended a graphix conference, got me all juiced up and wanting to draw again!

- getting ready for bacherelorette party has been crazy! baking, flowers, craziness! they made fun of my shortness, demoting me from bridesmaid to flowergirl!

+ no stipper at bachelorette party! yay! i didn't have to hide in the kitchen!

+ saw Hero on the big screen! and hung out with the asian am elite - very fashionable - one guy wore a green velvet blazer! very similar to one i wanted to buy in chicago, but then i thot, who wears green velvet blazers!

- movie made me think - so what does it mean to be Chinese? i'm so far removed from the country: morally, physically, mentally - well in every way - yet, i pride in it - even say, I want to go "back" there - made me wonder about my identity

- friend getting married, back (+) to bridesmaid, but sad, we're growing up, she's gonna make me catch the bouquet - it wasnt' too long ago we were in jr high.

I'm really tired.

I hate how I work myself to death - I'm a supreme workaholic and very addicted to stress. Problem is, I keep upping my dosage. I was trying to figure out my psyche and why i do this to myself - i think its because i find some kind of weird solace in it - the area i can do well and not be odd.

i mean, i think i grew up feeling like the odd man out all the time and tho i had friends, never felt like i really fit in. maybe work now allows me to fit in - and as i'm trying to fill that hole - it just gets bigger - b/c i'm always away from the ones i love. i wish i could just have a nice vacation and try to redirect myself. maybe that or LOTS of super hugs and chocolate and boba :)

anyways some recent pluses and minuses:
+ interviewed karen o of the Y's - she was very sweet and said like a lot - represent girl! she's half korean u know :) and now she's got me saying yeah yeah yeah

+ free boba today! score!

- some guy offered 50 bucks for my hat - dunno if he trying to hit on me or be supremely weird - esp since its a girl hat

+ watched a night-ful of anime - nothing like lots of gore on tv to make u forget everything else

- was laboring on yet another story i only half cared about

+ will be interviewing michelle branch in person next week

- nails broke (before u think i'm a girlie weeniehead, it went into the pink part of the nail and it turned purple)

+ bachelorette party is coming up :)