Tigz

this insane work crazy week is over ;) whew

what made it worth it was last nite, i was telling my bro cuz of work, i never see him, so we played karoake revolution and wailed all these pop tunes into the nite :) we bonded over bad singing :) reminds me of college's musicbox :)

stories are all done, i'm all packed (hopefully) and i'm off again :) this time to dc.

I'm real worried tho - first time, i've really taken up leadershippy roles, and i'm worried about if i mess up. well, if i do, i'll look real snazzy, cuz i got new suits!

now finding those suits was a real ordeal - cuz i lost weight in china, and went down a stupid size - all these suits wouldn't fit - there were bottoms w/o tops and tops w/o bottoms! i really think white suits don't exist!

wish me luck in dc.

and sorry i'm missing 5824's bbq - lots of hugs and prayer to those there. i'll miss ya - sniff sniff.

after having my bro's rotten pc erase my last two posts (somehow it knew i was sneakingly using his computer and so ruined my efforts!) i am trying again..

so far this week...

+ yay! i figured out how to put my archives up! tho there's weird A's on them, does anyone know how to get rid of that?

+ was a punky interviewer :OP
- asked usher who was the better dancer, he, mj or justin? he said, he is the best at everything he does
- asked weird al if he feels like he is really weird? he said he is more normal than many in hollywood
- asked boyz if they could still be boyz when they're older now? 31, 32, they said, the name just represents them growing
- asked jessica simpson if she minds being called ditzy? she says no. and later in the concert, said "is my dress up my buttcrack? sorry, that's so foul" she was tiny in person, but real sweet :)

+ jessica story had more online hits than armstrong story :) kinda like the time when will hung story had more hits than the war!

+ had kids put together backpacks for needy school children

+ was stressed out about dc, and stressed out that i had to cook for fellowship, but somehow jerm managed ot lift all this food from work and fed us :)

+ found out dc roomie is coming to dc at same time as me, so i dont' have to worry about traveling alone in dc

--> also attempting to keep up the spiritual high from china, feel like i'm plateauing....

whew, feel like i just blinked and summer is almost over!

been working like mad and going to dc soon, very sad i'm missing out on the 5824 bbq!!!

don't know how summer slipped by so fast...very sleepy nowadays, i don't know how my bro does it...he's running this 10 miles marathon for something (i forgot what) but his main purpose is to go to hawaii

anyways, he's running miles in the morning, and still has energy to party and play video games, meanwhile, i'm a slug on the couch watching some weird movie on the disney channel :op am i gettin' freakin' old?

then i remember i party too :) heehee

1. interviewed richard marx over dinner - told him that "right here waiting" was how i wanted my guy to be like - then asked him why he cut his mullet! he made fun of me later in his concert :op
- i forgot i had an interview with him, and uh, wore a Stitch t-shirt that day - that said ALOHA
- u know, i can really forget about acting my age
2. was supposed to meet oakenfold backstage - that stupid plan backfired - urrr
- this was after going to this wedding, ick, too many weddings!!!
- ate a steak dinner there, and had a very VERY hard time dancing at the concert later :op

today was a first
- was mentioned in my friend's sermon today
- never thot i said anything deep enuf to be mentioned :op

ok - i'm gonna melt on the couch and watch cartoons

kinda worried - tummy is still weird and its been a while since china - plus tired all the time, feel like my body is kaputin'

:op bleh - less partyin' more sleep i guess

steph noticed this shirt and later i got it b/c it cracked me up - it says VIOLENTLY HAPPY - i like it b/c it says i'm not just happy, but i'm SOOO happy that i'm violent, heheheeheh, it's like instead of skipping, i'm tearing up the hill :0)

a round-up of interviews i've done
- jessica simpson is not a ditz
- weird al is not weird
- paul oakenfold - I"M GONNA MEET HIM BACKSTAGE!!!
- and well, the boyzIImen are not boyz anymore - weird talking to them, man, i liked them so much in high school, never thot they would ask me to come to their concert - wow!

also had lunch with one of my mentors at work - glad to talk about stuff...all in the healing process again.

one of these dayz, i'm gonna figure out my life - til then, I AM VIOLENTLY HAPPY - just watch out! (not only do i know how to shoot, i can throw a baton)

just yesterday me and my close gf's were shopping for clubbing clothes - now it's maternity!!!

sure to scare any single person to being childless FOREVER - just go to a maternity store with a pregnant woman and start shopping - sit her with all this swollen mommies, and screaming babies and toddlers...and she will run.

heee, that's what me and my other friend did - we ran - fast - to familiar territory, forever 21.

hehehehe - we had enough of expandable butt (or that's what my friend thot they were) i mean expandable tummy pants.

26 is a funny age - when i was, feels like ages ago now, 16, me and my friend decided that 26 was the perfect age to get married - then have kids by 28.

now, i like - i'm figuring out and living my life.

and not with expandable pants just yet.

today was a crazy day - felt reelin' in emotional and physical craziness

so, me and mona had planned to go to the renaissance faire, i overslept, got to her place late, we then changed - and it was 11 am!!!

the faire is in san luis obispo and 3 hours away

anyhow, we set off...halfway there in salinas, and tired of listening to my weird cds - we decide not to go to the faire - you see we're in full renaissance outfits - flowy skirts, flower headpieces and all - and decide to go to the beach

from salinas, we go to monterey - and were the center of attention b/c we looked so weird

so then we went to the only place besides the faire that we could fit in - santa cruz

drove to the boardwalk - dipped our feet into the ocean - too cold - took a silly photo, of us in flowy skirts on the beach, lookign out of place -our story was that we were workign in a play, midsummer's nite dream of course = and decided to take a break, but was too lazy to change - either that, or we were interviewing for a pirate themed job, and didn't really get the costume right...

anyways, after the water was too cold, we set off to santa cruz downtown - where i ended up spending more money at Urban - i might as well work there and get the 40% - their clothes are too cute!!! of course, nothing professional, only silly stuff that i can wear to concerts

then, we got ice cream of course -i got tiramisu, which was weird. made me feel weird, my stomach has not been ok lately, lost all sorts of weight in china - mona said i look "elfish" now - kinda scary

anyways, then we headed back to fremont - changed real fast...

then to this journalism party - where we got down with salsa lessons - then got bored - then went next door for hip hop.

whew - and that was my day with mona :)

i'm through with watching sappy movies for life's answers.

there's this one line that's stuck in my mind for a while - from vanilla sky - something one says when they don't have the heart to say what they really think - "I'll tell you in another life when we're both cats."

i've always been against growing up - like toys r us is totally my theme song - but i guess lately i've been learning that growing up and maturing are two different things - and i'm should be striving toward maturing (even tho i got real sad when I couldn't wear overalls to work)

like growing up represented to me all the boringness and horribless in life - like being chained down in a marriage you hate and dealing with screaming kids, and taxes and mortgages - while preventing that process meant you can still buy stuffed animals.

but i guess maturing means that i can deal with that "m word" but still buy stuff animals? i'm kidding.

over the china trip, friends would constantly ask me - what do you want? i had no idea. tell you the truth, i had no idea who i was? am? and what i really strove for in life.

you see, work had taken over so much of it, i think i was blinded to everything else. i was so ambitious to aim so high that when work didn't exactly satisfy, i came at a loss.

so when the question came up of what i want, i guess i was ill equipped to answer, because i've been blindsighted at work, and a total people pleaser, so what i wanted became what other people wanted, because that made them happy and in turn made me happy.

so by the transitive property, if i then don't know what i want, then i don't know what makes me happy. which is pretty sucky...but here's a start:

10 things i cannot live without:
1. God
2. my brother
3. love - i could be shallow and say a hot guy - but after rethinking it, it's really just the feeling of being loved and cared for and being able to reciprocate that back, and that isn't limited to that one guy, hot or not)
4. my blanket (don't ask)
5. bear hugs (i was debating this, cuz i'm not touchy feely, but it's nice when it happens, a long time ago i was talking with ken about the necessity of people at work who would just be there to hug you after something went wrong, i wish that could be implemented but i guess that's weird for a workplace)
5. friends i can tell all my deepest darkest secrets to
6. email
6. my cell phone (these two being my way of contacting friends)
7. my class ring (the one me and angela share)
8. i guess to be good, i'll say my parents
9. dark chocolate
10. sleep

5 things I cannot live with:
1. mean people and mean comments
2. my upset stomach
3. spiders and anything creepy crawly
4. socks esp nylons
5. stinky tofu

today me and a friend had a birthday boba - and my good friend obliged to pay for us - she dubbed him boba pimp :op

then had dinner - this sounds like a weird punchline - so a journalist, a cop, a lawyer and a taxman had sushi - and pondered why dr. octopus has superhuman strength when all he has is metal arms - concluded that his nervous system was shot after the explosion, and that he wasn't superhuman, only he couldn't feel spidey's hits

then pondered if batman could be considered a superhero if the reason why he is super is b/c he's really rich - but that hurt danny the future lawyer and maybe prez? feelings, cuz he felt loyal to his batman toothbrush

what we couldn't figure out was why in the world are the people blue in king arthur!!!

i'm trying to archive my blogs, but the javascript doesn't seem to work, help anyone?

i'm still working on my thoughts on china, still digesting it all i guess.

you see the trip rated among those life changing discoveries - as high as my singapore trip that happened after college that not only was a week and a half of partying, but enabled me to see the world.

i just wish i didnt' have to run away to find answers. i guess i just have to be more comfortable with not knowing. you know how life is supposed to be a process and how i'm supposed to smell the roses? i feel like i always smoosh the roses in order to find the gold at the end of the rainbow, not knowing that the gold is the roses.

so in my attempt to smell these roses, i'm watchin' lots of tv and drinkin' IBC root beer

adjusting to the states again. my stomach is more sensitive than ever now - anything weird, and i'm not ok.

part of me really wants to return right now - and the other is just confused with how everything is here now - like i got so used to china i'm now weirded out by the us. like driving again was weird - i was driving all swervy.

the other day, somebody contemptuosly asked me how old i was - and for the first time since my bday i answered, and felt freakin' old - like she was older and was scoffing at me for being a young punk and taking her job - but i was like thinking -i'm not that young anymore - you can't be that threatened

tho i always thot that by 26 i would have had everything figured out.

but maybe it's like sarah brightman said to me on the phone -that the older she got, the less things made sense. like before, i didnt 'really question stuff, and now i question everything, so my level of contentment and satixfaction threshold rises.

or maybe cuz i really miss boba - and my brain chemistry is messed cuz i didn't get any boba in china :op

i'm back.

it feels weird tho - i spent the whole time in china homesick and now i find home strange. like i went backwards in time to fremont where nothing has changed. (ie. phuoc still hasn't posted) and i'm still trying ot make sense of it all.

i went there to soul search and find myself, yet, i feel like i'm back at the beginning again.