Tigz

today my friend taught me how to DJ - i can make bad music now!!!

jk - i can kinda mix and scratch - i learned how to wiggy wiggy - heehee.

plus i interviewed the man who invented the scratch! yay! tho during the interview i was scared of sounding stupid.

i remember when i was lil, i was so scared of sounding stupid that i was soo super shy, that i even let people pronounce my name wrong like mary anne, instead of what it's supposed to be - now it really bugs me when they pronounce it like that.

so tired right now - i feel like that sometimes - that i'm so tired my insides hurt...i wonder if people at work realize i'm trying so hard. prolly not huh? i wish i could just goof off and go into stuff animal land.

my bro got a new tv - i was like wait a sec, how come? so i made him do the dr. zoiborg (from futurama's) crab dance - that was funny - not worth a tv, kinda funny - but funny nevertheless..heehee

i have a weird life - Sunday school teacher by day and rocker groupie by nite.

this morning the boys in my class conceded that girls are smarter...

and tonite - i got hit on at a concert by a boy half my age - ok, maybe not that young, but he looked like he only recently got the ability to grow a moustache!!!

good question - what are my priorities now?

it's a friday nite - and usually i'm "too cool" to stay home - and altho i can blather off numerous clubbing activities to do - i'm tired, and have no other choice. and the fact i have to work sunday nite feels daunting.

it felt good last nite to go to worship - feel like my life is off balance and i'm falling off the deep end sometimes. scary how i used to and sometimes still find myself thinking - i'm going to be the SUPER career woman - and it won't matter if i'm lonely and at the top, because I'll be at the TOP! that's uh scary.

anyways, i've been praying a lot for my friends - i'm so timid usually about witnessing to them. and i feel like my own lack of consistency is a bad example. i've never been one of those I'M SUPERCHRISTIAN - and waving signs and such.

i do little things instead - i speak to high schoolers a lot - like on tuesday, i went to my high school and spoke - and then i spoke to my former sunday school student's school - she's so cute, she told her teacher that i'm a reporter and invited me to her class. i hope to witness by example, but i feel sometimes that's too lukewarm. i guess i don't feel that sense of urgency when i should

at work, i've been waving this huge YOUTH flag - trying to rally everyone behind reflecting the youth. The "youth" is such a yucky word, it's what people say when they are old. i feel old sometimes - i had 5 WHITE HAIRS yesterday, that freaked me out - i hope its just cuz of stress and highlighting my hair red. cuz i still get carded.

sometimes i just feel so lost. Work is going well and people are believing in this whole cause and such - but going back to speak to my high school makes me realize i've passed life by. i work at such a crazy energizer bunny speed that i dont' bother to smell anything - i think instead i just trample on those roses.

it makes me think - i still have a lot of growing up to do.

a month ago my priorities were:

90 percent work...which only left 10 percent for God, family, friends

which was wrong, and God reprimanded me so - i messed at work, took on too much and my quality got worse - and took away my health - got that weird scarlet disease....

then i still didn't get it - my friends asked me - when things don't go your way, what's your reaction?

i said - i get mad and frustrated - that i couldn't do it! to think, i relied everything on myself, only to fail.

because God was out of the picture.

interviewed three dj's today :) after working a ten hour day yesterday was so exhausted that the first two interviews were like so-so, was not so smooth, kept tripping over my tongue. plus had a headache all day cuz i slept with wet hair.

but third time around - i was more awake - or maybe cuz i had some chocolate cake - but that interview went very well :)

so now after eating my second piece of cake - not as good cuz it's the weird chinese kind that tricks u b/c its not sweet - i can think straight once again

what a pop culture weekend :)

i saw michael moore speak - he was happily radical - made me feel glad to be a Berkeleyan. then i got his autograph, and told him - As a member of the press, thank u for speaking out. Then he looked up and said, Thank you :) and smiled :) that was cool

then i went to watch the san jose ballet - and felt all sophisticated. i took my mom so we both cud feel sophisticated, but she fell ASLEEP! i kept poking her - she was "looking at her tummy" and bobbing her up and down - and mumbling, but i'm not asleep! silly mom, tricks are for kids!

steph performed! along with tricia, newton, michi and audrey! they were so good! inspired me to get better and stop my klutzy ways :)

then i went to a rock concert - and jumped up and down to Japanese - i cudn't understand anything. finally me and my bro left cuz we were tired of not being able to understand anything. but then we got to eat some yummy curry :)

today at work was cool. lately i've been sad about not making a difference. but i interviewed a DJ today and he was like i know your byline - we talk about the stories you write :) yay!!!

i rewarded myself with a boba -

boba count for last three days - 3 1/2 boba cups
i cud be their poster child

i have decided to be a fairy for halloween, no not like tinker bell, but something like midsummer's nite dream wood sprite :)

today was all right - was attempting to be three places at once, but only hit two spots...did have dinner with Reggie and the younger merc crew. got real excited b/c we're thinking of meeting as youngins to change the agenda of the paper to reach a younger audience - the "youth" has been like my mantra for a long time now (tho when u start saying "youth" you're getting old, so i put it in parentheses, to not remind myself that i can't try out for real world anymore) anyway, it's exciting to feel like we have power...heehee

as for jewelry making - it's becoming a weird addiction. instead of thinking about my stories i think about what beads i wanna buy and how i wanna put them together and how i wanna brand myself - this hobby is taking over my life. leave it to me to make something fun into something psycho.

today i wore one of my most favorite shirts - it's red and white striped and ties in the back - i thot it was like real sophisticated...

that is until my silly friends saw me wearing it - and then suggested i looked like those men driving those boats at the venetia - to make it worse, we went to TGI Friday's and they said i matched the table cloth :Op i told them i would never wear my (sophisticated) shirt around them again...irk

today, i volunteered to compile Halloween events for a listing in the paper - then it got me thinking, am i leading people to evil? is Halloween like bad? i kinda like dressing up. i especially like my friend Steph's costume idea for a couple - the girl would be a chicken - and the guy would be a General - get it GENERAL CHAO'S CHICKEN!!! heehee

i wonder what i should wear this Halloween --- hmmm. suggestions?

i finally saw kill bill - my bro was threatening to kill the plot for me - cuz i told him the whole point of that mandy moore movie was that she had cancer...hehahahaha,bwhwhahaha

anways, it was bloody but i kept watching. i dunno, i have a problem with tarantino = i'm not cool with this whole appropriation thing. like how this is getting props while the movie HERO is still not out in big theatres. how is he that much cooler because he copies Asians?

maybe it's the same argument that African Americans have with hip-hop. i have that problem with martial arts too - like that cable commercial with the Black martial artist - i was thinking why not get an Asian martial artist kicking out the dish - isn't that truer to the art? makes me real mad - just like AF (asian fetish) - i bet tarantino has asian fetish...ugh.

this is why i can't always cover Asian American stories - i'll like get offended all the time and get mad and nothing will be done :( it's like ethnic humor - it's funny when jackie chan says it, but once someone that's not azn says it, it's horrible.

then i wish all of us weren't so caught up by color. but then, maybe we'll be as evil as ward connerly. ugh.

on another note, i found something wonderful today from steph - CALCIUM INDUCED CHOCOLATE!!! they must of read women's minds :)

I got a really really funny email today which leads me to change the smaller heading of my page. Read this outloud in a nasally voice and it's even funnier!

Hello Marian. My name is John Hodgson. I am head [and only]honcho at BOOMbA-BOMbA. I have been given the papers address by a fan of our music [note the singular decription]. His name is Chris Dryer and we communicate on occasions mainly when I send him new BOOMbA-BOMba material which he enjoys and plays for his friends.
I myself have performed twice in San Francisco with the Rick Wakeman Band during the 70's.
Nowadays I content myself with writing and recording in my own studio in the icy plains of northern england which brings me to:>>>>>>>>>>>
DELORES AMORES girl of lurve. She is one of our artists and has recently had her track Aye Delores accepted by 2 California based films. Maximum Wobble part 1 and Sex, Cocktails and Politics. I find the titles irresistable. In my capacity of finder of any publicity whatsoever I am approaching you with perhaps a view to getting an article in your paper. I thank you for your time and please forgive my intrusion.
I also write a diary for the BBC in England under the title 'Diary of an Ageing Rock tar' perhaps you might find it interesting and/or quirky!

anywayz - i had a blast this weekend with the comic styling of 5824 and friends - now, i know i'm not the only one that likes poop jokes! heehee

just working through a writing block right now - interviewed a Japanese rock band yesterday, they are like the Japanese version of Aerosmith. They were so nice :) - like gods in their native land. then my awful tape broke and i didnt' get to record the interview of them saying hi to me in unison. darn! but at least i used my awful japanese and said arigato!

funny when you get older your definition of WORST DAY EVER changes - i think it used to be like if it rained - then the guy i was crushing on found out - now it's everything you work toward crumbles, and the sky is falling.

work has been a bit frustrating - sometimes the ideals you founded your life on get compromised and you just do meeting after meeting without getting anywhere. don't get me wrong, i have a dream job, but sometimes legistics get in the way. sometimes i wish i could just help people, not ask these celebrities if they are single, or what brand are you wearing.

when i was 16, i thot i would be married and in med school, now so far from those goals - i freak out at the possibility of being aimless and 25. i don't ever want to grow up, become jaded and cynical. i see those kind of people everyday - people who have lost their souls, who just pass the day and wish they could die. i don't ever want to be like that. i want my life to be filled with stuffed animals and skipping.

what a sad state of affairs...but if a merc survey says anything, we polled our readers, these are highly educated readers mind u of silicon valley, what fav italian restaurant they like - guess what they said - olive garden - now these peops elected a governator.

had hip hop dance tonite again - i'm finally getting it! but i think i'm too embarrased to try any moves - ken started body rolls at the dna lounge saturday - i tried too. but i think i look like an idiot. i used to dance as a kid - gymnastics, tap dancing and ballet - but in the pictures, i'm doing something completey different than everyone else - how embarrassing is that.

i judged asian american idol at dna lounge this weekend - people attempted aguilera and tupac - :op

on another note, i learned how to say fart in korean :
bahng goo

guess what i just discovered - there's a SUMO WRESTLER running for governor!!! how silly is that - Kurt "Tachikaze" Rightmyer (Independent) - Sumo Wrestler & Substitute Teacher - maybe i'll vote for him. at least he has a weird/cool job!

today was tiring - finished two stories in one blow! remember when mickey mouse was cool, and like hella rascally instead of the generic thing he is now. well, he played this Jack character from the Bean Stalk story, and he talks about how he killed two giants with one blow - but he really meant flies.

anyways, so i turned in the jewelry application to try out my new line - ming :) but i fear that the photos i sent plugged up the coordinator's mailbox and they'll like hate me or go, irk, that's the ugliest jewelry i've ever seen - well, that would be sad

went to a Taiwan celebration of country and culinary tonite - the aborigine performance was awesome - he sang Enigma's Return to Innocence in a skirt with pants! His music made me wanna skip around.

interviewed dierks bentley this morning - he has the number one country song - he was going off about how at 17 he was listening to hank jr. and drinking beer and felt like a man - i couldn't relate. well, silly, first of all, i don't chug anything, well maybe red bull and jamba juice - no actually, i'll chug boba anyday. Secondly, I dont' like twanginess. Thirdly, it's just a funny image in my head.

anyways, then he told me his favorite song in country was alan jackson's something something - he asked, have u heard it - i skipped his question cuz i dont' listen to country and asked him why.

the other day, my hip hop friend said no one should discount a whole genre, that we should be open - i'm trying very hard to like country and twanginess. very very very very very very very very hard - trying to uproot my memphis upbringing - it's very very very hard :OP!

makes me wish, what if i was a rock star and i could just say silly things like busta rhymes - "hip hop is for the youth and the youth is for hip hop" and have people think i'm deep --- hmmm, then i wouldn't have to try so hard to like country :) hehehehe