Saturday, October 25, 2003
good question - what are my priorities now?
it's a friday nite - and usually i'm "too cool" to stay home - and altho i can blather off numerous clubbing activities to do - i'm tired, and have no other choice. and the fact i have to work sunday nite feels daunting.
it felt good last nite to go to worship - feel like my life is off balance and i'm falling off the deep end sometimes. scary how i used to and sometimes still find myself thinking - i'm going to be the SUPER career woman - and it won't matter if i'm lonely and at the top, because I'll be at the TOP! that's uh scary.
anyways, i've been praying a lot for my friends - i'm so timid usually about witnessing to them. and i feel like my own lack of consistency is a bad example. i've never been one of those I'M SUPERCHRISTIAN - and waving signs and such.
i do little things instead - i speak to high schoolers a lot - like on tuesday, i went to my high school and spoke - and then i spoke to my former sunday school student's school - she's so cute, she told her teacher that i'm a reporter and invited me to her class. i hope to witness by example, but i feel sometimes that's too lukewarm. i guess i don't feel that sense of urgency when i should
at work, i've been waving this huge YOUTH flag - trying to rally everyone behind reflecting the youth. The "youth" is such a yucky word, it's what people say when they are old. i feel old sometimes - i had 5 WHITE HAIRS yesterday, that freaked me out - i hope its just cuz of stress and highlighting my hair red. cuz i still get carded.
sometimes i just feel so lost. Work is going well and people are believing in this whole cause and such - but going back to speak to my high school makes me realize i've passed life by. i work at such a crazy energizer bunny speed that i dont' bother to smell anything - i think instead i just trample on those roses.
it makes me think - i still have a lot of growing up to do.
it's a friday nite - and usually i'm "too cool" to stay home - and altho i can blather off numerous clubbing activities to do - i'm tired, and have no other choice. and the fact i have to work sunday nite feels daunting.
it felt good last nite to go to worship - feel like my life is off balance and i'm falling off the deep end sometimes. scary how i used to and sometimes still find myself thinking - i'm going to be the SUPER career woman - and it won't matter if i'm lonely and at the top, because I'll be at the TOP! that's uh scary.
anyways, i've been praying a lot for my friends - i'm so timid usually about witnessing to them. and i feel like my own lack of consistency is a bad example. i've never been one of those I'M SUPERCHRISTIAN - and waving signs and such.
i do little things instead - i speak to high schoolers a lot - like on tuesday, i went to my high school and spoke - and then i spoke to my former sunday school student's school - she's so cute, she told her teacher that i'm a reporter and invited me to her class. i hope to witness by example, but i feel sometimes that's too lukewarm. i guess i don't feel that sense of urgency when i should
at work, i've been waving this huge YOUTH flag - trying to rally everyone behind reflecting the youth. The "youth" is such a yucky word, it's what people say when they are old. i feel old sometimes - i had 5 WHITE HAIRS yesterday, that freaked me out - i hope its just cuz of stress and highlighting my hair red. cuz i still get carded.
sometimes i just feel so lost. Work is going well and people are believing in this whole cause and such - but going back to speak to my high school makes me realize i've passed life by. i work at such a crazy energizer bunny speed that i dont' bother to smell anything - i think instead i just trample on those roses.
it makes me think - i still have a lot of growing up to do.
# posted by Marian @ 12:07 AM 
