Tigz

i remember when i was little, i lived across from the most popular kid in kindergarten - i would watch him play in front of his house, while i hung onto the telephone pole in front of my house - and never would have the guts to ask him.

funny how i just remembered that.

i guess i've always been shy, though i've gotten better at hiding it :op

this whole column thing is kinda cool, but kinda freakin me out. i guess i've never felt comfortable in letting it all hang loose. i'm very self conscious that way, like it takes a lot to get me to let my guard down...this is why i sucked at jazz, i cud never do a solo even tho i knew the technique - i was just too worried about messing up, but that's what i ended up doing :Op but we'll see i guess

some weird thots:
- went to this awesome blues show with anne-marie - some guys hollered out at me, saying that i had a nice outfit :) and gestured me to come along
- one time, i was crossing the parking lot, and this guy almost hit me with his car, then he did this joey thing - like - how u doin' - i was like, dude, you almost killed me - ok, i thot it, i didn't say it.
- more people i know are multiplying - freakin' me out. i'm spending more time in target's baby section than at forever 21!!!

ok, some deeper thots...
- sunday school graduation was cool, i havent been as regular there as a teacher lately, its weird to be needed...i guess i never saw myself that way
- lot more time on my hands lately b/c lots of people are gone: grad school, married, multiplying, etc....figuring out what to do...
- i usu. like making myself uber busy, so i dont have to think, but now that i have more time, i'm thinking more...ick.
- friend asked me - so - how are you with God lately? funny how that's the first time i've ever been asked...made me ponder...i'd hate to say i'm lukewarm - but sometimes i really feel like it. like i'm too busy living out what i want instead of bothering to listen to what He wants....i guess more time to think is good...