Tigz

with all the commotion surrounding my other blog i've been ignoring this one. but i got my first mean comment on that one, and then immediately turned the comment option off. all day i was waiting for someone to comment, and when someone finally does, they tell me i suck. sigh. i guess u can't please them all.

a friend of mine reads this blog and the other blog and told me that i seemed to be looking, searching for something. this made me think, made me wonder if i lacked something, or was reflecting that i lacked something. it also made me wonder why i work my brains out so much that i don't have time for anything else, if i was too scared to just do nothing. to just sit there and be content. probably. :o/

i'm going on tv tomorrow to do a music feed for Pacific Fusion and to tell you the truth, I'm terrified. they told me i'm supposed to wear blue. tough thing, i don't have much blue, so i hurried to the mall to look - kinda struck out. and then, i'll prolly have to wear make-up. i don't really. the most i usually do is eye shadow and some gloss - cuz i hate the way make-up feels and tastes. i always figure that if you don't like the way i look, well tough, b/c i'm not going to cater to you or society. this is how i look and that's it. I remember i got into a fight about wearing make-up, more than once, with different people - about how i should try it and how it would make me better. i was thinking - so i'm not okay now? why must i add on to be suitable?

so tomorrow - i have to figure it all out - but if i look jacked on tv later - with something funky on and messed up makeup - please don't giggle :op