Thursday, May 26, 2005
i just finished reading this book "Native Speaker" - now i don't usually read. my brother makes fun of how i don't read - well, i read newspapers and zines, but not books. basically I read things that are written for others like me, with near ADD and can't dwell on one thing for too long.
but i read this book, and it's left me a bit unsettled. it was too real, too close, too raw, too close to home
i liked it, it's complexities and its texture
and how it described being foreign in the only home you know
i guess it's a feeling i've swept under the rug for some time now, something i don't think about - those ESL classes in kindergarten, the speech therapy classes, the idea that i never could completely belong - i hid among those that looked like me, afraid to venture outside.
his book brought all those feelings back - of being an alien at home.
there was a time i was hehehe, an angry asian girl, so sensitive at every little mention - i stopped because i was getting extreme and it was getting bad for my writing
i guess since then i've laughed at those thoughts, but this book has brought back the awareness i used to have - about how i pronounced words and how i was different
funny how i've forgotten
but i read this book, and it's left me a bit unsettled. it was too real, too close, too raw, too close to home
i liked it, it's complexities and its texture
and how it described being foreign in the only home you know
i guess it's a feeling i've swept under the rug for some time now, something i don't think about - those ESL classes in kindergarten, the speech therapy classes, the idea that i never could completely belong - i hid among those that looked like me, afraid to venture outside.
his book brought all those feelings back - of being an alien at home.
there was a time i was hehehe, an angry asian girl, so sensitive at every little mention - i stopped because i was getting extreme and it was getting bad for my writing
i guess since then i've laughed at those thoughts, but this book has brought back the awareness i used to have - about how i pronounced words and how i was different
funny how i've forgotten
# posted by Marian @ 11:24 PM 
