Tigz

Thanks for the well wishes. It's been a tough two months. First getting sick, then having bronchitis and traveling while sick, and back to work with a lingering cough.

I'm taking a break right now from writing a big story -- truthfully my brain hurts a bit, so I'm taking a breather.

Just some random thoughts:

When you go into a bathroom, and you enter a stall, only to discover it's hell on earth, what is the etiquette to getting out of there and going into another stall? esp if you see the person exiting the stall that made that unholy stank? what if they're exiting it with a smile? I wonder if I ever exited happy, only to have somebody enter unhappy.

I interviewed a person today, she's white and female and basically acts as an agent to artists and works primarily in rap - I asked her if she ever got intimadated. She says its no big deal. I asked because I think sometimes I make it a big deal for myself and make myself intimidated. I feel like a little kid sometimes instead of a reporter, tugging at a big bad adult's big jacket, saying, "excuse me, excuse me, but do you mind if i asked you a teeny question?"

On being intimidated, I went to my high school reunion. I felt like an idiot. For a person that had mostly an azn experience in high school, the main people that showed where white - and the jocks. There were people I didn't talk to at all in high school. I basically felt like I was meeting people for the first time. They looked at me blankly and were like - AND YOU WERE? And look at me up and down, and was like, SORRY I DON'T REMEMBER YOU. And I feel like scuttling away. To add insult to injury, one guy even said, I don't remember you, but I remember you (talking to Mike). The only funny thing was that that guy and Mike wore the exact thing - white dress shirt, grey pants, down to the exact same leather jacket. Mike even accidently tried on this guy's jacket instead of his own. It was like a bad scene from prom - SHE WORE THE SAME OUTFIT AS ME! WE CAN'T STAND TOGETHER!

Then Mike went around asking how I was in high school - I guess for curiousity's sake - only to get blank answers like. I don't know. She was quiet. She didn't talk much. I had to call up Deep and ask her -- Was I really like that? Gee whiz, I don't remember being that shy. Did I change that much?

People talk about high school being their golden years, their best years in life. I think that's kind of sad, because that's the first decade of your life and there's so much living to do after that. I think I came to my own after college and am still in the process. Admittingly I'm a late bloomer. I don't think I was necessarily that shy but I didn't go outside my comfort zone. I still have problems doing that but I think my zone has expanded a bit. And my fun years are still happening - it started after college I think.

Maybe because I'm still getting used to being comfortable in my own skin. If you were going to psycho-analyze me, truthfully, I'm not really into being me - journalism is a sweet escape into others' lives. That's why we never really write about ourselves - we're always constantly into others. Maybe that's why I haven't upkept this blog so much, because I'm not really sure what to say about myself. I'm usually at a loss.

The other day a student asked me the classic question I always ask celebrities -- SO DESCRIBE YOURSELF. I started talking about my job. As for me, I don't know. I'm still figuring that out!